Mango's Passionate Adventure

My husband's and my first child was a little blue Chihuahua named Mango. Mango's favorite pastime was to play with Humpy Bear, who earned her name from many a love session from the dog, who I nicknamed Sir Humpsalot.

For anyone who's first child is a pet, you understand how important they become. If he was sick I would stay home from work. He went everywhere with us, I even had a special purse made with a hole in it so he could go with me and poke his head out. We loved him like a child.

Late one evening, about 11:00, Mango was having his nightly rendevous with Madame Humpy Bear. He had a routine, he would pull her of his toy basket, shake her around a bit (she was a naughty girl!) and, shall we say, commence.

Well, this particular night I noticed the two lovebirds under the end table, but Mango was unusually out of control. I decided to intervene before he gave himself a heart attack, and as I reached for him I noticed that his "part" was extended several inches from his body and had no intention of going back to the mother ship. Apparently he had been sharing special time with humpy for so long that he'd actually dried himself out.

Well, anyone in my situation would have done what I did upon seeing such a large projectile attached to such a tiny dog. I screamed!

Of course my scream startled the dog so badly that he started to run. I immediately worried that he might poll vault across the room as he wasn't used to sporting such equipment. He made his way under the couch, terrified. I called for my husband as I was coaxing poor Mango from his hiding place.

My husband, at my direction, called the vet and woke him up. I heard him telling the vet our plight in the most discreet and polite manner possible..."Our dog was playing with his teddy bear and he got his boy part stuck out."

While he received medical advice, I thought of the best solution possible. I remembered that Seinfeld episode..the one where they talked about shrinkage...so I took the dog into the bathroom, turned on the cold water, and proceeded to manually apply cold water to the unit.
Eventually it returned to its proper place. I informed my husband of the good news, he passed it on to the vet and hung up the phone.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He said to take the bear away!" he answered.

Needless to say, after Madame Humpy Bear's hiatus, Mango became more of gentleman.